“Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!”
~Santa Claus, probably, right? Maybe?
Today is Christmas Eve, that day where you silently complain about the fact that you had to use a vacation day in order to travel back home for the holidays. For some, it’s an important part of the Christmas tradition, and for others, it’s a day you anxiously power through waiting expectantly for Christmas to finally show up. And for most of us, it’s a day where oh shit you totally forgot to wrap your presents didn’t you, okay well you should get that shit down and chuck it under the tree before someone notices.
Now, a few days ago we told you about the worst Christmas treats out there. There was reindeer poop and fruitcake and oh God figgy pudding why as well as a bunch of other horrific British concoctions and it was pretty much awful. But hey, Christmas is tomorrow, some of you are working a half day or some nonsense like that, so let’s just talk about some Christmas treats that you’d actually want to eat instead. Because America does actually know a thing or twelve about making Christmas delicious.
The Best Holiday Treats of Christmas
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Posted in America's Best Foods, America's Holidays
Tagged America, Candy Cane, candy canes, Christmas, Christmas Treats, Christmas tree, Eggnog, Frango, Gingerbread, gingerbread men, Holiday Treats, Holidays, Mallomars, peppermint, peppermint bark, Terry's Chocolate Orange, yule log
“You’d be amazed how smashed you can get off eggnog when you’re tweaking on a week’s worth of sugar.”
Christmas is just around the corner, which means a handful of you get to take advantage of your opportunity to be a massive asshole by putting coal in your kid’s stocking just to see the look on the little bastard’s face. Really dude? You’re going that route? You think that shit’s funny? How do you even procure a hunk of coal to do that? You suck, and your kids are going to put you in one of the cheapest homes in town when your mind starts to go. But for the rest of you, Christmas is a time for friends, family, and alcohol but we said that one two times already.
But Christmas is more than just about presents and liquor. It’s about tradition. And obesity. Both of which can be seen as we investigate…
America’s Greatest Holiday Candy Traditions
Don’t worry, not all of them will look like penises. This one will, though.
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