“*begins seizing from sugar overdose*”
~AFFotD’s official product taste tester
America loves candy so much that we wrote a kind of annoying song about how much we want it back in 1965, and we’ve not shut up about it since. There’s something comforting about mainlining sugar into your veins, no matter how often Japan tries to ruin the concept. And, in the gluttonous nature of American know-how that we like to champion, America also loves giant food that doesn’t need to be quite so giant. Naturally, these two schools of thought have collided on many occasions, because a giant candy bar is much cooler than a giant stalk of celery, mom.
In this enterprising spirit, we’re here to salute America’s giant candy confections, but we’re not going to simply stick with some Guinness book of world records bullshit. Sure, we could spend a few thousand words telling you about the 12,000 pound chocolate bar made by Chicago’s World Finest Chocolates, or the 7,000 pound lollipop made by See’s Candies out in Burlingame, California, but what good does that do you, the reader? It might impress you, but does it give you the opportunity to go out, find something horribly unhealthy, and devour it in one sitting in what will probably prove to be the last and greatest mistake you ever made in your sugar-shortened life? Hell no! So we’re going to stick with the world’s largest candy items that you, yes you, irresponsible you, can purchase this very moment. After all, you’re an adult, you can and have eaten cake for breakfast because you make your own rules and, hey, we’re all going to die someday, and overdosing on sucrose doesn’t sound much worse than drowning.
The World’s Largest Candy (That You Can Buy Right Now)
Posted in America's Best Foods, Strange Foods
Tagged America, Candy, Chocolate, gummi bear, gummy bear, gummy worm, Hershey's, Lollipop, Peppermint Patties, Snickers, Sugar, World's Largest
“Nothing comes closer to satiating my ungodly bull bloodlust than a nice slice of Key Lime. And lots of alcohol.”
We all often hear things described as being “as American as Apple Pie.” It’s a simple, lazy way to say something is typically American. Early America Fun Fact of the Day staffers assumed that baseball is the most American thing next to ecstasy and apple pies until Jon Hamm, our mailroom worker and a relatively recent hire, decided to do a little research, and discovered that Apple Pie’s “American” nature is grossly exaggerated.
Apples did not even originate in the United States- they had to be brought over by the English, where apple pies had long been popular. But the American colonists, showing the true American spirit, said, “fuck pies” and used the apples to make alcoholic cider instead. While there is a town called “Pie Town” named after apple pies, it’s in New Mexico, which is just three letters and a space away from being Mexico. So, we at the America Fun Fact of the Day had to smash up our Apple Pie cooking station from our offices, and ban ourselves from using the term “as American as Apple Pie” (this is entirely unrelated to the fact that every AFFotD can be summarized by saying “____ is as American as Apple Pie”).
But that left a void in our pastry loving, red-blooded hearts. What could replace Apple Pie as our Pie Messiah?
There was only one possible answer, only one baked dessert loaded with sweet, sweet, cavity creating sugar, and invented right here in the U.S. of A.
The Key Lime Pie. Continue reading