Tag Archives: Nicholas Cage

Nicolas Cage’s Character Names, Ranked

“You say I get to play someone named Castor Troy? I don’t even need to read the script, I’m IN.”

~Nicholas Cage in 1997

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There’s no exact science to how we come up with our article topics. Sometimes we see something in the news that piques our interest, sometimes we just think about pizza and think, what if this, but bad.

And sometimes we get a message from friend of AFFotD and occasional contributor, SarahIndie, and the article just writes itself.

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So that’s what we’re going to do! Note, this is NOT going to be a list of which CHARACTERS are the best. It’s just which NAMES are the best. Because if we had to sit down and watch every Nic Cage performance, we would not be able to finish before we reach the heat death of the universe. But names, those we can look at and evaluate.

So here we go. No build up, just NAMES! HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS!

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The Motherfucking Robocop

“Freeze, chumps.”

~Um, just the motherfucking Robocop


Many classic characters have been created for art and film.  There’s Hamlet, Sherlock Holmes, that one dude in The Wire that wasn’t Omar but had the bow tie, all of these characters are memorable parts of our culture’s collective memory.

Come to think of it, Omar might be a slightly more memorable character.

So given this absolutely complete list of popular characters of film, stage, and (ugh) literature, what do they have in common?  Passion?  Eloquence?  An enviable fashion sense?  Well, none of them hold a candle to the figure of today’s AFFotD, who is of course…

The Motherfucking Robocop.

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