Tag Archives: Mayo

The Regional Italian and Submarine Sandwiches of America: Pennsylvania

“Huh, so apparently there IS such a thing as eating too many sandwiches…”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt, shortly before getting his stomach pumped

big old sandwich

As mentioned in our previous post, the simple concept of “a sandwich on a long roll of bread stuffed with cold cuts and condiments” has expanded well beyond our wildest dreams.  While many of these variations are all words for the same thing (the submarine begat the hero begat the grinder begat pointless regional squabbles about lexicon and so forth) these linguistic shifts have also helped create entirely new sandwiches made to be stuffed into submarine or Italian bread and embraced as a regional dish so fervently that even New Yorkers sometimes have to step in and go, “Woah, easy there,  Philadelphia, we get you invented it, but people are allowed to add different things to a fucking cheesesteak.”

Ha, just kidding, they’d never say that, they’re too busy trying to pretend they make the nation’s best hot dogs because…what, they’re sold in carts?  Because it’s easy to go to a cart and have someone scoop out a three day old frank and top it with sauerkraut and mustard and that somehow makes your hot dog “supreme” to, say, every other type of hot dog that at least tries?  Get off your fucking high horse, goddamn you.

Okay, sorry, back on track.  Anyway, for whatever reason, the state of Pennsylvania accounts for like, 40% of all the sandwiches on rolls of the entire East Coast, so we decided to give them their own section in our series on…

The Regional Italian and Submarine Sandwiches of America:  Pennsylvania

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The American History of Mayonnaise

“I make my own mayonnaise.  I do this either because I am pretentiously gourmet, or because I am technically too fat to fit out my door and run to the grocery store.  You decide.”

~It’s the second one

Imagine a swimming pool filled with Mayonnaise.  No, seriously, picture it.  You can’t get it out of your head now, can you?  And be honest with us- you’ve never once thought about that.   You’ve never wondered to yourself, “I wonder what it would look like if you filled a swimming pool with Mayonnaise.”  And now you can’t stop thinking about it.  That is our gift to you.

Yes Mayo is an integral part of America’s culinary tradition.  While it shockingly was not invented in America, it clearly was invented ahead of its time, since it’s a product clearly meant for America.  Come on, it’s 85% fat, and has 700 calories for every 100 grams of it.  Holy hell, that’s glorious.  So we’re going to only touch on the European-y origins of this thing, and focus on…

The American History of Mayonnaise

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