Tag Archives: Lay’s

AFFotD Ranks Lay’s Regional Potato Chip Flavors

“Here’s a funny flavor. Buy our potato bits.”

~The Marketing Team at Lay’s Potato Chips

chips

Lay’s potato chips has a history of coming up with strange flavors, almost as if they know that coming up with strange flavors of your product an easy way to get accidentally free advertising from our site. (Our promotional staff is very bad about getting us paid from the companies whose products we inadvertently give free advertising to.) Well, we might be a bit late to the party, but this summer they decided to do it again, coming up with eight regional specific potato chip flavors, because why have people vote for three different novelty flavored potato chips when you know our fat asses will have no qualms about going out and buying eight bags of chips that probably taste, at best, fine.

Anyway, we decided to list out these chips for you and rank them, based on how good we imagine they taste. Yes, that’s right, we’re not even going to go out and buy them, even though we are completely able to do so, but fuck it, Lay’s didn’t respond to our email request to “please send the potato chips, and some whiskey, do you guys make whiskey too?” so fuck it. This is going to be a very phoned in effort!

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The Strangest Flavors of Lay’s Potato Chips in the World

“What?  But…why?”

~Your Taste Buds

crab chips

The potato chip—America’s most effective salt delivery system since 1853.  We as a nation eat 1.5 billion pounds of the stuff a year, which pares down to about 4 pounds of greasy, delicious shame for every American.  It is an actual American invention, coming into existence because of a douchebag customer who kept sending back his fried potatoes for not being thinly cut enough, and the chef who said, “fuck you, I’ll give you fried potato peelings then and oh holy shit he actually likes it?”  Since its inception, potato chips have spread all over the world, which is a good thing for people who work at liposuction clinics, and bad news for people who are trapped in countries that have decided a potato chip can be flavored as anything, no matter how batshit insane it is.

Surprisingly enough, we’re not talking about Japan, despite the atrocities they have committed against the humble Dorito.  No, we’re talking about Lay’s, the parent company of Doritos, and a brand of potato chip that, for whatever reason has been hijacked by pure insanity in countries across the world.  And before you say “Hey, I tried a bag of Borsch potato chips one time, it actually tasted pretty good!” we just want to remind you that you’re wrong and we don’t care what you have to say.

On to the distressing potato chips!

The Strangest Flavors of Lay’s Potato Chips in the World

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The Best Potato Chip Flavors You’ve Probably Never Tasted

“No, dammit, I said weird things we’d WANT to eat.  Yes, we’re going positive this time round.  No, I’m not drunker than normal.  Just get it done.”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt

sour cream and onion

When we talk about food here, outside of the general “fried?  Gimmegimmegimme” context, we have a tendency to focus on strange flavors or, God forbid, Japan.  That also applies to our discussion of potato chip flavors—generally, when we take the time to describe potato chips to you, the reader, we talk about flavors that other countries like to use, and why those countries are wrong and bad.  We mention potato chips that you haven’t heard of because you live a good life and avoid bad things, and most other countries like to hawk terrible potato chip flavors, and they can go to hell and take their ketchup flavored potato shavings with them, those sons of a bitches.

But we’ve decided that today, just this once, we should try to be positive with our guidance.  So we’re not going to talk about awful potato chip flavors you didn’t know existed.  Instead, we will discuss underrepresented potato chip flavors out there, and let you know what you’re missing.

No, we’re not being sarcastic, why do you keep assuming we’re being sarcastic when we try to say nice things?

The Best Potato Chip Flavors You’ve Probably Never Tasted

 cajun squirrel

This is not on the list.

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