Tag Archives: Freestyle

AFFotD’s Adventure Into Freestyle Rap: “You can call me FDR ‘cause I cripple with my beats/ ain’t no type of polio can keep me off my feet”

“Trippin’ like your Sicily, know those bitches into me, ain’t no Marxist giving tree, y’all just call me Mussolini.”

~AFFotD’s History/White Freestyle Rapping expert

AFFotD enjoys drinking, and happens to employ a certain percentage of pigmentationally-challenged individuals.  These Caucasians, or “Honkies” as they prefer to be called, also enjoy drinking, as a borderline alcohol dependency issue is required for your resume to get past our spam filters.  And the sad truth of the matter is, when white people drink, they are ten times more likely to break into God-awful freestyle raps than any other race or ethnicity (except the Japanese).

We’re going to just rip the band-aid right off and tell you that the majority of today’s Fun Fact will be one of our White staff members writing freestyle rap.  We apologize in advance.

You see, the other day we drank, a lot.  Because as the saying goes, “Thursdays are the new Fridays, and we’ve been drinking so much the days are impossible to distinguish anymore.”  And any medical professional would know that the biggest danger you face when consuming large quantities of alcohol is liver damage impaired decision making flash freestyle battles.  And the prize for our winner (who happened to be one of our main history researchers for the site) was that he got to do a freestyle AFFotD.  It’s probably going to be awful.

Oh God, it’s gonna be awful, isn’t it?

AFFotD’s Adventure Into Freestyle Rap:  “You can call me FDR ‘cause I cripple with my beats/ ain’t no type of polio can keep me off my feet”


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America’s Homemade Hunters

“Eh…too easy.”

~American Hunters

As purveyors of American doses of Americanism, we like to have our finger on the pulse of the acceptably badass American occupations.  When alcohol was being flavored like cupcakes, we were there.  When Pizza hut started cramming bacon and sausage inside of their crusts, we were there.  And that’s why we’re here to tell you that we have encountered a small pocket of Americans who enjoy hunting, except for anything that has ever been invented to make hunting easier.

That’s right.  These are people who like to hunt wild boar and other animals using homemade bows, arrows, and spears.  Because WOOOOOOO, that’s why.

“My point be obsidian/ my beats ain’t opinion/ grizzled beard cause delirium/ fuck up boars and all of ‘em.”

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