“Liquefy all our assets NOW! Shit, shit, wait, no I don’t mean MELT them, I mean…forget it, I’ll do it myself.”
If we’ve learned anything from those Chrysler commercials with Eminem, it’s that cars are, uh, important to America? Something about Detroit? Robed opera singers? Anyway, the automobile industry helped America experience both one of its greatest financial booms (what up, Henry Ford) and the stubbornness of our automobile industry helped America experience one of its greatest financial recessions (what up, Henry Ford).
Yes, America loves cars, and many of our finest moments have centered on road trips through the vast empty areas of our fair nation. And it was during one of our more recent road trips that we encountered a beautiful, if…confusing place in Nebraska called…Carhendge.
If you walk within 15 feet of this, the trunk of your car magically fills with Four Lokos.
And we assumed that would be the end of it- we’d take a few pictures, maybe upgrade our trailer to a double-wide, and leave with the satisfaction of knowing that we had seen a giant Stonehenge replica. Anytime we got into an argument with someone saying, “That’s not proper grammar” or “Sir, you’re clearly drunk” followed by “Sir, if you do not leave the bouncy castle we will have to call the police” we can at least take smug satisfaction in the knowledge that at least we’ve been to Carhendge, and besides, what kind of asshole pays for a bouncy castle at a block party and doesn’t let their neighbors use it?
But everything’s changed now. Carhendge is for sale. For just $300,000 dollars we can buy Carhendge and then have our smile slowly fade as we realize that we don’t know how to move the damn thing.
We don’t have that much money just lying around, as evident by our desperate and ill-advised sponsorship deal with Wendy’s, but we do have you, the loyal readers. So give us some fucking money, already.
FUCKING GIVE IT!
Carhendge Is Up For Sale: AFFotD’s Pledge Drive
Oh God, there’s blood EVERYWHERE