“Wait, I don’t understand. It’s alcohol that I DON’T want inside me?”
~A Confused Johnny Roosevelt, AFFotD Editor-in-Chief
In the past, we’ve written a fair amount on strange and disgusting vodkas as proof that not all American innovations in letting 17-year-olds get drunk on things that don’t taste like burning necessarily are winners.
But those are just vodkas with gross flavors. A neutral spirit, flavored to taste like bubble gum or cactus or whatever the fuck isn’t nearly as novel as it was maybe eight years ago. Now, that shit’s everywhere, and you don’t even blink at seeing fruit loops flavored vodka.
The perverse flavoring of other types of liquor, however, is uncharted territory. And, considering how long we’ve had to figure out what kinds of liquor actually taste good (there’s a reason why soju is the largest selling alcohol in the world, but we have enough sense to make it next to impossible to find because soju is garbage) it’s probably not too surprising that in our quest to find new liquor ideas, we’ve stumbled across some terrifying misses.
These are those misses.