Monthly Archives: May 2016

The Inventor of Scrabble Was Actually Named Alfred Mosher Butts

“Wait.  His name was Alfred Mosher Butts?  Are you sure?  This wasn’t someone on staff fucking with Wikipedia again, was it?”

~AFFotD’s Fact Checking Team

alfred butts

We’ve all at one time or another played Scrabble—statistically, it’s in 1/3 of every American household, and 95% of every American grandparent household. If you haven’t played it before, you’re probably not reading this article, due to your severe and truly heartbreaking illiteracy, but on the off chance that someone told you how to use those programs that read websites out loud for blind people, we’ll throw you a bone.

Scrabble is a classic American game where you form words on a grid to get points. If you said, “Oh, just like Words With Friends?” hello readers who were born after 9/11. But yes, it’s what Words With Friends ripped off. It’s a simple, yet enjoyable, game that stupid people absolutely despise for obvious reasons.

But it is an American invention. And not only that, it was invented by a man that we can’t believe isn’t better known in society. Partly because he invented an iconic game enjoyed by millions, if not billions. But also because his name was Alfred Mosher Butts!  We are children, but we don’t care, we will always find that funny. So let’s talk about him!

The Inventor of Scrabble Was Actually Named Alfred Mosher Butts

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Do Not Call Budweiser “America” No Matter What The Can Tells You

“This election season, call Budweiser ‘America’

~No, We’re Not Going To Fucking Do That

 budweiser

Yesterday, Budweiser sent newsfeeds everywhere a-buzzing with the craaazy news that starting on May 23rd, all cans of Budweiser sold in the United States will instead say “America” in their iconic font.

Basically, you can “order an American” at the bar if you really want to see how many times your bartender can hear a person chortle at the same poorly formed semi-dad joke before they finally snap and burn the place to the fucking ground.

This is a bit of an extension of previous years when Budweiser changed their packaging in the summer to more patriotic can designs, but it’s the first time they’ve actually removed their brand name to place the name of this great nation on it. You would think we would be enthused by such raw support of all things American.

You would be wrong.

To address this, we will cede the floor to Johnny Roosevelt, the Editor-in-Chief of America Fun Fact of the Day, who last took the time to personally address you all last summer when he spent 2,500 words personally insulting a rich egomaniac with a history of assault and an extensive gun collection.

Surprisingly he’s still alive to let you know why Budweiser is wrong and bad for trying to get you to call it America.  Take it away, chief.

Johnny Roosevelt Speaks: Do Not Call Budweiser “America” No Matter What The Can Tells You

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The Most Absurd Change.org Petitions in America

“This Change.org petition is really gonna make a difference!”

~No, no it’s not

change

Change.org was founded in 2007 as a tool for people to advocate social causes. It’s used by over 100 million people who either have signed petitions or created their own, and it serves as an interesting launching point for issues that might otherwise get drowned out. It occasionally has caused a difference, most notably for its involvement in drawing national attention to the Trayvon Martin case, but mostly it’s used for what most things on the internet are used for.

Okay, well, not porn, though we probably just Rule 34ed some of that into existence just now. No, it’s basically used for people to bitch and complain about something that annoys them. That ranges from sensible, social concerns to petty, stupid issues. But somewhere in between, something wonderful happens.  Craziness.

So we did some digging to find some of our favorite wtf Change.org petitions for your please. All of these are 100% real and unedited.

The Most Absurd Change.org Petitions in America

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