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Which Characters From “Star Trek: The Next Generation” Fucked

“I thought we couldn’t get any lower than talking about how horny that Paper Mario N64 game was, but here we are…”

~Affotd Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt

star trek the next generation cast

For reasons that should be apparent, our staff has had a lot of time on our hands to try to binge various tv series we’ve not previously seen. In this case, that show was Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Now, you might get a little public-distance-based unease at the idea of a group of drunk people watching 176 episodes of television inside during a pandemic, but don’t worry. Our staff has taken all the proper precautions.

We’ve literally never stepped foot outside of our office since March 15th. Except for one intern, who we send out twice a week to do all of our grocery shopping. He has to leave all the food and booze outside of our office and then he must scurry off to spend the rest of his time alone in a small, hermetically-sealed closet.

We don’t even talk to him over the phone, in case the virus can be transmitted wirelessly. He has lost his mind.

But enough about Darren, who apparently has changed his name to “Lorgon, the final man” in a fit of mania. Let’s talk about Star Trek. Because guess what?

This shit is HORNY.

Every Star Trek: The Next Generation Character Who Has Fucked

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