Tag Archives: Road Trip

Eastward Bound: A Road Trip Through America’s Heartland

“Mister, who are you?  Where’s our mommy?  We’re scared.”

~Oh shit, this isn’t our car

A while back, we showed you the Midwest of America through a drunken Road Trip filled with giant, oversized objects that were made by small towns for reasons that we can’t explain without having high concentrations of pesticides in our lungs.  So when we decided that we should focus on some other states in the nation, since apparently this nation’s pretty fucking huge.  So, we decided to start things off in Tennessee.  If you read that last sentence and thought, “Huh, I wonder where in Tennessee they would start off?” we guess we haven’t properly introduced ourselves.  Hello, we’re AFFotD, if you came here because you googled the phrase “How to Tie a bowtie” we have some bad news for you.  For the rest of you, we’re sure you’ve already shouted, “Knock it off with the fluff exposition, we know goddamn well you went to the Jack Daniels distillery.”

Of course we did.  Of course we did.  So how we woke up in Powell, Tennessee with a stolen car and a taste in our mouth that reminds us that it’s still legal to smoke in the bars down here, which is as good of a time as any to begin…

Eastward Bound:  A Road Trip Through America’s Heartland

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Four Loko on Guitars, Fallout Shelters, and Masonic Decals: [REDACTED] Goes on a Road Trip (Part 1 of 2)

“…This…seems like it’s a trap.”

~[REDACTED]

Listen, intrepid readers,

To a story of woe and fears

Of our brave soul, [REDACTED]

Who has suffered all these years.

Once a journalist

Of an investigative nature,

He one day found himself…

In quite a Vegan nightmare.

And as the months went on,

He put up with lots of shit…

So AFFotD rewarded him

With a kindly road trip.

Too bad for [REDACTED]

We don’t want him having too much fun

So that’s why we made him

Drive all the way…to Omaha.

[REDACTED] Visits Omaha (Nebraska)  (Like the Cornhuskers) (It’s in the Midwest, Alright?)

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