Tag Archives: Pinterest

The Worst Life Hacks (Invented By Crazy People)

“Crush up aspirin with vodka to make an exfoliating facial scrub!”

~Crazy person/”Life Hacker”

light bulb candle

The internet has changed culture the world as we know it at a blinding pace.  Back in the day (everyone over the age of 26 will say while swaying hypnotically on a rocking chair) before internet was everywhere, things were different.  We’d use a phone book to call businesses, bar arguments about which Bond movie had Christopher Walken as the villain ended in frustrating stalemates (both parties were wrong, the answer is A View to Kill, not Moonraker or Octopussy), and pornography had to be purchased in magazine form with a cashier taking your money as you shyly avoid eye contact.  It was a simpler time.

Ever since the Internet has become the all-encompassing entity that will someday eventually spell our species’s doom, it has brought a lot of information into our everyday lives that we would never have known otherwise.  Sure, 90% of this information has to do with sexual fetishes that we wish we didn’t know existed, but it also means that the combined human experience can be distilled into life hacks; little common sense cheats that make life easier and make you say, “Oh, of course, why didn’t I think of that?”

hoodie life hack

“Oh my God, that somehow manages to be ingenious and depressing at the same time!”

Roughly 70% of life hacks are about either fingernail painting techniques, amplifying the volume of music played on your iphone, or freezing things that aren’t water to make things cold without watering it down, but all life hacks, when done right, make you go, “Oh shit!  That’s kind of cool!” even though you’re almost guaranteed to do nothing with this newly acquired information.  And they are cool!  The first time you hear that Chinese take-out boxes can be folded out into plates, you lose your fucking mind for half a second.  And when we finally realized that the markings in Solo cups measures your serving size for shots, beer, and wine, a few of our staff members actually wept out of sheer joy.

However, for every game changing life hack, there are others that, well, let’s just say, were explicitly designed by people who would sneak into your bathroom and replace your mouthwash with castor oil, because they’re, well, they’re crazy.  They’re crazy people.

The Worst Life Hacks (Invented By Crazy People)

 umbrella the fuck

“My apartment is filled with them!  Broken umbrellas, as far as the eye can see!”

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The Six Worst DIY Kits For Sale On The Internet


~Step-dads everywhere

ladder fall

America is a nation filled with handymen, or so we kept telling ourselves when trying to explain the popularity of Home Improvement.  We’ve been building our own devices to make life quaint or awesome for years, but with the invention of the Internet came something terrifying.  Brooklyn Boundless Do-It-Yourself opportunities.  We used to see some wood, a hammer, and a handful of nails and say to ourselves, “You know, it’s Sunday and there’s no football on, I might as well come down with tetanus while making an rickety doghouse that’ll never be used.”  Now, we’re forced to embarrass ourselves as we spectacularly fail to make Precision Outback Savannah doghouses complete with a shaded porch because your wife saw all the lumber in the backyard and decided to spend the next three hours fucking around on Pinterest.

It’s a blessing and a curse, and by that we mean to say the internet is a blessing for master craftsmen with advanced engineering degrees who want to show off what they can do in a simple afternoon, and it’s a curse for the rest of us who usually have a hard time figuring out the diagrams on IKEA furniture instructions.  It’s also a boon for those of us who like to laugh at the latter group, but that’s neither here nor there.

Of course, with endless DIY products at our disposal, there are numerous helpful guides and kits that (usually for a cost just covering some of the basic supplies) can help you feel like a red-blooded, self-sustaining, uh, well let’s be honest, hipster.  Most of the people doing these projects are just hipsters.  When a woodworker makes an awesome bench, he doesn’t really spend his time posting about it online.  He’s probably outside.  Sitting on the bench.  And he’s definitely not making his own soap, because he’s not insufferable.

The people who buy, sell, or came up with the following projects, however?  Yes.  Absolutely insufferable.

The Six Worst DIY Kits For Sale On The Internet

 corona tv

This one’s actually not for sale, though you know you’d buy it if you could.

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