“OH GOD WHY DID I DECIDE TO ASSEMBLE THIS MYSELF IT IS INSIDE ME!”
America is a nation filled with handymen, or so we kept telling ourselves when trying to explain the popularity of Home Improvement. We’ve been building our own devices to make life quaint or awesome for years, but with the invention of the Internet came something terrifying. Brooklyn Boundless Do-It-Yourself opportunities. We used to see some wood, a hammer, and a handful of nails and say to ourselves, “You know, it’s Sunday and there’s no football on, I might as well come down with tetanus while making an rickety doghouse that’ll never be used.” Now, we’re forced to embarrass ourselves as we spectacularly fail to make Precision Outback Savannah doghouses complete with a shaded porch because your wife saw all the lumber in the backyard and decided to spend the next three hours fucking around on Pinterest.
It’s a blessing and a curse, and by that we mean to say the internet is a blessing for master craftsmen with advanced engineering degrees who want to show off what they can do in a simple afternoon, and it’s a curse for the rest of us who usually have a hard time figuring out the diagrams on IKEA furniture instructions. It’s also a boon for those of us who like to laugh at the latter group, but that’s neither here nor there.
Of course, with endless DIY products at our disposal, there are numerous helpful guides and kits that (usually for a cost just covering some of the basic supplies) can help you feel like a red-blooded, self-sustaining, uh, well let’s be honest, hipster. Most of the people doing these projects are just hipsters. When a woodworker makes an awesome bench, he doesn’t really spend his time posting about it online. He’s probably outside. Sitting on the bench. And he’s definitely not making his own soap, because he’s not insufferable.
The people who buy, sell, or came up with the following projects, however? Yes. Absolutely insufferable.
The Six Worst DIY Kits For Sale On The Internet
This one’s actually not for sale, though you know you’d buy it if you could.