“I like my candles like I like my women. On fire.”
~Jesus Christ, that took a fuckin’ TURN
Ever since America karate chopped darkness with the invention of the light bulb, candles have been relegated from “essential light source/ occasional house fire starter” to “novelty scented items to help get you laid, or to mask the odor of particularly skunky weed.” Usually they try to make your room smell like lavender or lilac or whatever the fuck purple is supposed to smell like. To say that most candles cater to the specific demographic of “women, and the men who are trying to sleep with them” would be like saying that bullets are primarily marketed towards gun owners.
But lately, entrepreneurs have tried to capitalize on an untapped market of American men who want their rooms to smell like various manly, American things. That’s why you get to see a 13-year-old selling candles that smell like bacon, new mitt, and grandpa’s pipe, or Yankee Candle releasing candles that smell like “First Down” and “2×4.”
America Fun Fact of the Day salutes these ventures, and just like the American inventor of the aforementioned light bulb, we see it as our divine duty to take this idea that other people have worked tirelessly on, tweak it a little, and declare it our own. So here goes our latest business venture.
For Sale: AFFotD Brand American Scented Candles