Tag Archives: Jello Shots

London Drowns in Beer

“And they say that, in their most dire moment, a chosen one will spurn his British curse, and become, spiritually, a true American.”

~The prophecy


America Fun Fact of the Day likes to keep things, you know, local.  Much like George Washington was a staunch isolationist, we don’t give a shit about what goes on outside of America.  Oh what’s that, Greece is poor?  Tough shit, sell the Parthenon or something.  Not our debt, not our problem.  We don’t even know what a European Union is, but if you put us on the spot we’d say…Soccer team?  British Iron Workers?  Again, we don’t know, we don’t care.

But, despite our extreme disinterest in other nations, we do understand that being American is more than just a geographical concept.  Hell, some of the least American people in the world were born and raised in America.  So, is it possible that there are American souls trapped in bodies that were born in un-American nations?  While this may go down as one of the most surprising statements you’ll hear from America’s proudest batch of Xenophobes, yes.  Yes it is possible.  Sometimes it just tales of incredible feats to us to realize that.

We’re talking about British people drowning in beer.

Or as the British call it, “Gobbling the Hozzywaller in the Fainterphone.”  Probably.  GOD that place is a mess.

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