“Four ass kickings and seven names taken ago… I’m trying to say I beat the shit out of people.”
Many AFFotD readers have seen posts about legendary Americans such as Ulysses S. Grant, Teddy Roosevelt, and Teddy Roosevelt (“Oh hey, you guys made a mistake…you said Teddy Roosevelt twice.” No we didn’t make any mistake, fuck you) and have likely thought that a few true American heroes were missing from the list. Sometimes it’s because we’re lazy and we just read something about flavored vodka, but in other instances these figures can be to seminal to the American experience that summing up their accomplishments into a series of alcohol related dick jokes can be a daunting task. Such is the case of the mutant American badass, and one of the most influential American ugly person president…Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah he did that too.