“I don’t even care, you guys. They’re not even people. They’re just…British.”
~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt
Much like a stubborn teenager who grew up to be far more successful and powerful than their father, America has a complicated relationship with England. We ran away from home, they burned down our President’s House, we made them feel embarrassed by being so American and awesome, but we still keep in touch sometimes and we like to say that we’re still pretty close friends even though we only see each other a few times a year.
So it always saddens us when we hear British people foolishly try to tell us we’re doing shit wrong. It doesn’t happen often, because after we remind them that we saved their asses in doubleyou doubleyou two, they fucking owe us, but they still sometimes let criticisms squeak through.
Like this BBC article listing off the 50 “worst” “Americanisms.” Pssh, way to be oxymoronic, douchebags. In their classic attempt to write an article without writing an article, these dentist’s nightmares decided to have their readers mail in their least favorite “Americanisms,” as long with an explanation of why they’re bothered by it.
Let’s go through the list and tell them why they’re wrong wrong wrong. Goddamn limeys.