“Yeah, the…uh, God, what’s the word…day in history thing?”
A band named after what we put in our coffee once stated, hot time, summer in the city. While you may not be living in a city right now, you are part of the grant giant city known as…America. That’s all we got, though. Sure it seems kind of tenuous, but still, here is…
Today’s American Day in History (America Edition)
1846: The first ever organized game of baseball occurs, with the New York Baseball Club defeating the Knickerbockers. This prove that, as much as people might hate the name of the Oklahoma City Thunder, we’re still a lot better at making team names. Also, to put it in perspective for how long ago this was, it took place in Hoboken, New Jersey, and no one had to pay tolls to get there. Crazy, we know.
1865: Slaves in Texas are informed that, like, two fucking years ago, they were freed. As a result, Junteenth is a holiday celebrated to this day, which we must assume was a slightly less sarcastic name than the originally proposed “Oh Guys Thanks For The Fucking Heads Up Day”.
1870: The last Southern state rejoins the Union, officially ending the Confederate State of America. WOO! AMERICA!
1910: The first father’s day is celebrated in Spokane, Washington. Holy shit, that’s right. Happy Father’s day, everyone!
1964: The Civil Rights Act of 1964 passes, proving that even 118 years (maybe? Math is hard) later, we were still pretty lazy about naming shit.
1974: A woman in Bellevue, Washington became the first woman saved by the Heinlich Maneuver. We don’t want to get too gross about it, but let’s just say it was a sort of penicillin type discovery.
1978: Garfield begins its circulation, serving as a guideline for every depressing single man with a dog and a cat. Seriously, we don’t even have a joke or a simile to make there. Garfield is fucking depressing.
2011: AFFotd celebrates Father’s Day with a “Today in American History” segment.