~…The Lollipop Guild
America is all about saving money. Well that’s not true. That’s a total lie in fact. In fact, one of the great goals of America is that we’re supposed to make as much money as humanely possible (fuck you, Ghana!) and use it in the most absurd ways (you’re welcome, Mr. Chocolate Fountain Business Owner). That’s America. But despite our best intentions, most of us do not have Christopher Walken as a father, and our lives are not an extension of the island house scenes from Wedding Crashers. So sometimes we Americans have to get inventive to live in the more popular American locations.
First of all, shut the fuck up New York. We know this is about you, you don’t need to gloat about it.
No seriously, shut the fuck up.
Okay you goddamn New Yorkers. This is about New York. And tiny apartments.
And America loves tiny apartments.