“What’s the use of flying if you can’t even milk a cow on a plane?”
What? Bob, are you having a stroke?
“Blast the monkey jam, Betty!”
~Transcript from 1930 International Air Exposition planning meeting
You are blessed to live in a time where it’s actively difficult to be truly bored. No, we know that any combination of events, from work meetings to being stuck in traffic can leave you “bored” but none of you have experience real boredom, in the same way that you’ve been hungry before but not actively starving. We have the internet to distract us, we carry tiny computers in our pockets that can call people and play stupid but additive games, and apparently radio and television are things that people still kind of use when they don’t want to pay for premium Spotify accounts or Netflix.
We point this out because in the early 1900’s, that was not the case at all. The human mind needs to be distracted, and when all you have is books and a lot of public shaming regarding masturbation, you’re going to seek out some pretty desperate ways to entertain yourself. That’s as close to a segue as we’re going to get so we’ll just go ahead and tell you what this article is going to be about.
This is about the first time a cow was ever milked mid-air.
America was a lot easier entertained in 1930, okay guys? Let’s dive into this.
Elm Farm Ollie: America’s Flying Milking Cow