Tag Archives: Cars

10 Ridiculous Items Built By Car Companies (That Aren’t Cars)

“Sure, we make cars, but you know what we don’t make?  Not cars.”

~Car Companies, apparently?

fast car

It’s no real secret that car companies don’t just use their vast infrastructure and manufacturing facilities to sell cars.  Nissan makes boat engines, Toyota makes luxury yachts, and Hummer makes you look like a douche.  But some items that car makers manufacture are, let’s say, surprising.  So surprising, in fact, that we had no idea they existed until it was brought to our attention by loyal reader Mark from Foosball Zone.  He did the bulk of the research for this article, which we then scrapped and re-wrote ourselves, because we’re kind of jerks like that.  But seriously, hit up his site and give him some love, and thanks Mark for working with us on this as our primary researcher.

Oh, what’s that?  You want to know what the article is going to be about?  Okay, fair, we got a bit ahead of ourselves with our legal disclaimer of how we stole an article but like, didn’t steal steal an article, but here you go.

10 Ridiculous Items Built By Car Companies (That Aren’t Cars)

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Timmy Roosevelt, Eight-Year Old American

“I like Fire trucks.”

~Timmy Roosevelt

We’re sort of out of it today.  Weekends blur together in the American tradition, because America knows how to come up with reasons to get wasted most every night, and eventually you let weekdays blur together to in the quest to reach the weekend.  It’s America who came up with the notion of Thursdays “being the new Friday.”  And it’s a truly great American notion- you don’t expect to do much work on Friday, so why not go out on Thursday to get plastered as well?  Get more bang for your weekend buck?  And then, Wednesday becomes the new Thursday which is the new Friday, and so on and so on.

So we…we treated Monday like the Friday it is.  And if we had to rate days by how bad their hangovers are, Tuesday would be very high up on the list.  We don’t often have guest columnists, and normally they’re not eight-year old boys.

Anyway, the guy who writes our intros just puked into his garbage can, so here’s Timmy Roosevelt, the eight-year old nephew of our editor-in-chief, Johnny Roosevelt.

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