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The Oregon Trail Raised a Generation

“The river is too deep to ford.  You lose:  103 bullets, 2 wagon wheels, 2 wagon axles, 2 oxen, TEDDY (drowned), C. DALE (drowned), ULYSSES (drowned).”

~Shit, should have just taken the ferry…

The Oregon Trail was two thousand mile wagon route connecting towns of the Missouri River to the Oregon valley, originally discovered and utilized by fur trappers and traders who would agehpgap



Oh shit, sorry, fell asleep on the keyboard.  That’s boring.  Stop being so boring.  Besides, that’s totally historically inaccurate.  Because, we at AFFotD, like many Americans, know the real story behind the Oregon Trail.  We know it not because we “read books” or “watched PBS documentaries” or “listened to a lecture from a storied American History academic.”  Fuck that noise.  We know it because we lived it, man.  We were there, we know what’s at stake, and we know what we have lost.

That’s right, you can take your “historical discussions of the cultural impact regarding settlements along the Oregon Trail” and shove it up your monocle, we know the score because we are intimately familiar with the most American Educational Video Game of all time.

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