“No no no I want it I WANT IT!”
~Michigan and Ohio representatives
While we spend most of our time fixating on our general awesomeness, Americans often forget that we are one of the most diverse countries in the world, both ethnically and ideologically. When you take a moment and consider the vast differences in language and culture in Europe, it’s not surprising that individual states in America, which could fit most of Europe within its borders, might have some different views than their neighbors. It’s why people from Massachusetts give New Yorkers a hard time, why most sports rivalries exist, and why if you put a Californian in a room with a Texan for thirty minutes, neither will emerge alive, sort of like putting two Siamese fighting fish in the same tank.
Now, we tend to dismiss rivalries between states because, in the grand scheme of thing, they’re just little local quirks of a particular part of the nation. Take Michigan and Ohio, for example. Those of you who follow College Football (read as: actual Americans) know that the University of Michigan and THE (ugh) Ohio State University have an institutionalized hatred for each other that most people reserve for the producers of the Twilight franchise. If you met someone from Michigan or Ohio, you make some joke at the other state’s expense, and they’d roll their eyes and go, “Ugh, yeah, fuck those guys.” That’s just how Americans identify with their local community, and it’s all in good fun. Naturally, we try not to take this too far into “irrational grudges” territory, because that’s just counterproductive. Ha, it’s not like we’ve ever had states go to war and shoot at each other or anything.
Oh wait, what’s that? What are you doing, article title?
The Toledo War: That One Time We Had States Go to War and Shoot at Each Other or Something