“Violence is never the correct method to enlightenment. I have been the victim of slings and arrows but I knew to take them in stride. Men have attacked me, provoked me, and have I turned the other cheek. But house rules say we are allowed to re-rack mid-turn, so you’d better give me Bozo Buckets before I fucking end you.”
As Americans age, they find that their sensibilities and lifestyle might soften. Some of us settle down and start a family. Some of us wait until kickoff to start drinking, instead of waking up at 6AM to pregame properly. Still others feel less motivation to travel to Africa to slay lions with their bare hands, and instead stay in America to hunt coyotes. However, there is one American activity that, though associated primarily with college students, remains fondly in the hearts of all American Champions. Never will we tire of it, and never will we abandon it. It is no mere game, it is a way of life, and a testament to our American abilities and ingenuity.
Of course, we are referring to Beer Pong.