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AFFotD’s News Item of the Month: America’s Meat Vending Machine

“Oh great, we’re giving the machines fucking knives now?”

~John Connor

As Americans, we’re better than most people at just about everything, though Japan has us edged out in the “being weird” categories.  For the longest time, Japan took their “being weird” expertise and used them to perfect the art of the Vending Machine.  While Americans use vending machines for their fatty snacks, sugary drinks, and cancery-y cigarettes, Japan took one look at the concept and thought to themselves, “panties.”

And since vending machines with soiled panties isn’t quite Japanese enough, they decided to add vending machines that sell lobsters, eggs, porn and, fuck it, cars.  Japan overreacted to us coming up with the idea of vending machines like we overreacted to Pearl Harbor by using Little Boy.

But, in our own small way, we may have finally caught up to the Japanese in the vending machine field.  You could even say we’ve outdone them.  It’s all part of this month’s…

AFFotD’s News Item of the Month:  America’s Meat Vending Machine

 

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