“I regret everything about my association with this company.”
What does America like? Killing horses, of course. What else are we fans of? Sugar. And by the America law of transference, anything that can be used to get you drunk is automatically awesome. That’s why we had our AFFotD Jingle-writer, Tom Waits, write a little ditty about…Jell-O. Because he was starting to go into D.T. and we told him he had to write something really cheesy and campy before he got to drink his medicine. Here’s what he came up with.
We’re big fans of horse’s hooves
Make them tasty instead of glue
Add some sugar, and whatdya do?
You put it in booze and get shitfaced.
It needs work, but that’s beside the point, we’re here to tell you about America’s favorite dessert that tries to fatten up America’s youth by imploring to them that “There’s always room for empty calories.”