Tag Archives: Fresh Prince With No Hair

The Royal Wedding Was So Blah Blah We Don’t Care

“Oh La de da I’m getting married and shit.”

~The king or whatever

So apparently when British people get married, it’s a big deal.  Some of you might be saying, “Oh, no, it’s not that, it’s a royal wedding” as if that’s supposed to make sense to us Americans.  We only know of two people who go by “The King.”  Elvis is long dead, and we didn’t hold a nationwide pageant for when Lebron James knocked up his girlfriend, so why is America so riveted by a balding man who is about 7 years removed from being considered a sex symbol getting married to an 8.  Granted, an American 8 is the equivalent of a British 10, but you don’t see us waking up early to watch that wedding happen live.

“Oh but she looks so glamorous and” yeah yeah we get it we don’t care.

But apparently, it’s a pretty big deal right now, to the point that there are already articles about the goddamn diet that they think Kate Middleton used to lose weight for the wedding.  So whatever, it’s what people want to hear about, so here you go.

AFFotD’s Half-Assed Guide to Some Wedding Between Two Rich Foreign People From a Country That Wears Silly Shit

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