“If I haven’t gotten drunk to the point that I start hallucinating, it’s been a crap night. Now, who wants to duel?”
While the America Fun Fact of the Day staff never really paid much attention in History Class, we do remember at one point hearing “something something that turns that cogs of the American machine.” Knowing what we know about America (namely everything, despite whatever that bitch of an American History summer school teacher told us) there is only one logical thing this could have been referring to.
That, of course, is booze. And of all the boozes out there, only one is so American it was discovered in America, created in America, named after somewhere in American, and is responsible for more spouses accidentally falling down the stairs in America than a Green Bay Packers loss.
We are of course referring to the brownest of the browns, the sweetest of the sweet, giver of life and hangovers. Bourbon.