“AGHHHH! Oh wait that wasn’t too bad.”
~The East Coast during an Earthquake
This Wednesday, the East Coast was rattled by a 5.8 magnitude Earthquake, leading to hilariously glib twitter responses and a series of smug “you call that an Earthquake?” responses from West Coasters who would begin screaming in terror if they ever saw more than a half an inch of snow. It caught everyone by surprise, and New York flocked at the chance to shout, “ME! ME!! MEEEEE!” and bask in the media attention.
Of course the offices of AFFotD were hit by the Earthquake, but you didn’t hear us bitching about it. That’s because we knew that fucker was coming. “Oh, but AFFotD, how is that even possible and” yeah yeah, shut it. We know things. We’re like the goddamn animals in the Washington D.C. zoo. So we know this shit.
Anyway, long story short, we have an Earthquake shelter. Yes, it’s awesome. Yes, we will show it to you.
A Guided Tour of AFFotD’s Revolutionary Earthquake Shelter
Artist’s rendering (artist had recently consumed hallucinogenic mushrooms)