“Please remove my company from your website. I don’t want my company listed on your page.”
Management of DiCarlo’s Pizza, sent to our staff at 8:30 AM on a Sunday
Eight years ago (!) we wrote a pretty obviously troll-y post about the worst pizza styles in America. Was this a flimsy excuse for us to dunk on St. Louis-Style pizza, a thing we’ve written about enough you’d be fair to wonder if we caught a St. Louis-Style pizza having sex with our wife? Yes.
If we’re being completely honest, we started that article with St. Louis pizza locked in at the number one spot (it’s a cracker covered in sugary-as-fuck sauce and fake cheese that only is sold in St. Louis) and just sort of scrambled around looking for other “meh” styles.
We landed on California-style (don’t put healthy shit on pizza please), Tomato Pies from Jersey (it’s just….bread with cold sauce), Quad City-style pizza (the word “spice jam” should tell you enough about that one) and Ohio Valley-style pizza, a type of pizza where, we should absolutely note, we referenced exactly zero specific businesses behind its creation.
We said that Ohio Valley-style pizza is a thing, which cooks a pizza and then tops it with cold, un-cooked cheese and toppings, and also, what the fuck?
Anyway, as you can see from the above email, nearly a decade after writing this jokey article, one of the owners of a DiCarlo’s Pizza location, the apparent creator of this bullshit Lunchables approach to pizza, got up on a Sunday morning, googled “Ohio Valley Style Pizza”, found our article, and decided to fire off a super angry and thirsty missive to our staff via their iPad.
And as you should all know by know, if you don’t want us to write an article making fun of you, maybe don’t send us angry emails where you scream at us for talking about your brand. Especially when we had never heard of you before today.
So let’s thank whoever is in charge at DiCarlo’s marketing for giving us a fun topic article.