“Haha McJokeyface, amiright?”
~Like, The Worst Stand-Up Comic
Pretty much the whole world remembers the time in 2016 that the British government got the brilliant notion to crowdsource the internet to name their new $287 million polar research ship, and the internet, being the internet, overwhelmingly went with “Boaty McBoatface.”
It was a silly, goofy, harmless little internet prank that has since spiraled a bit out of control, since now everything that exists in the world falls into two camps—things named “Something McSomethingface” and things that people overwhelmingly voted to be named “Something McSomethingface” before the powers that be stepped in and said, “No we’re not doing that, that’s stupid.”
Our official stance on this phenomenon is, sure it’s getting kind of old, but it’s funny and stupid, and we thrive on funny and stupid, so we’re all for it. In fact, as our service to the internet, we’re going to look for anything we can find that has some sort of Blanky McBlankface name, and put it here in one continuously edited article, so you too can see how much free time our staff has on their hands.
And yes, we will be maintaining this—if at any point we come across a new vehicle or animal or thing that actually got named some version of Boaty McBoatface, we will add it here. And if you, our loyal readers, find something, feel free to leave it in the comments, or email it to us at email@example.com.
Now, before we begin, a few ground rules. No, we won’t include items that won a fan vote but weren’t ever used, like that time people tried to name a school Schoolie McSchoolface. And we won’t be listing dumb pranks like SoccerCity SD purposefully having people vote to name their MLS team Footy McFooty Face. And we definitely will try to avoid posting fake news names, like the story that never actually happened about the Chinese Gorilla named Harambe McHarambeface.
Will some fake ones make this list accidentally? Eh, probably, we’ll do our best to minimize that but it’s not exactly going to cause us to lose sleep at night. And finally, we won’t be including people’s Twitter handles or fake Facebook profiles, even if that means that we have to unfortunately leave the guy with the screenname “Racist McShootFace” who bid $65 million for George Zimmerman’s gun off our list.
But otherwise, anything goes, including pets, drawings, and a whole bunch of stuff that we will be pissed off for agreeing to chronicle two years down the line.