“Fuck no, I’m not foreign, I’m American, you assholes.”
We at AFfotD know of a few “celebrity chefs” out there. Guy Fieri likes to put Jack Daniels on everything, so he’s alright by our book. Wolfgang Puck speaks with a silly accent, so we hate him. The same should go for Gordon “fucking” Ramsay, except for the fact that Kitchen Nightmares is brilliant and if we ever said otherwise we suspect that the crazy soccer-playing Scottish bastard would hunt us down and harvest our livers for pate. And we’re conflicted on Rachael Ray but that’s just because our male staffers have spent the last three years trying to figure out if they find her attractive or not.
One person we never really paid much attention to was Anthony Bourdain. He has a foreign sounding name, and while he has a popular Food Network TV show, we mainly had heard of him through his best-selling books. And we at AFFotD never read books unless it tells us to kill Europeans, so even if Wikipedia says that your writing is “peppered with F-words,” sorry Tony, we’re still not going to read it. But we apparently were foolish in leaving this guy out, because even though we’ll never remember how to spell his name, this Bourbon Bourdain guy.
Because we found this.
That link is a SFW summary of a Playboy interview that Bourdain recently did. For those of you raising your eyebrows saying, “Oh, sure, your staff was totally just reading Playboy for the articles, italicized sarcasm” we just want to say for the record- our staff members that read Playboy do so solely for the pictures of naked women, this was just an instance where we saw the guy talking smack about Vegans and were suddenly enraptured. Then we did some digging and found that he’s a hard drinking, chain smoking, former heroin user (we’re not endorsing Heroin by any means, and in no way are we implying that doing Heroin makes you more American…but that being said…Lou Reed, you know?). To make a long story short, he seemed pretty damn American.
While we won’t go as far as to say he’s American enough for a Fun Fact of his entire life (at least not yet) we’ll at least throw him a bone by giving him one for his awesome views.
Anthony Bourdain’s America is Pretty Much AFFotD’s America
Okay, except for the excessively ripped jeans…