Oh Crap You Guys


~Johnny Roosevelt

Shit guys, shit, okay.  So…

Remember a while back, when those Ukrainians were all…hostage-taking-y?  They’re…

…Wait wait we think we heard something…

Yeah, okay they’re back.  We honestly don’t know what we could have done to piss them off, other than that moderately successful viral smear campaign against them (we don’t want to brag but it was basically the “It Gets Better” of anti-Ukrainian internet videos).  Anyway…

SHHHHH…Jesus, this closet is cramped…

Anyway, they’re back.  And our attack monkeys are on vacation.  Shit.

Hopefully we can get out of this.  If we survive, expect a lengthy description of our peril, and a casualty report (don’t worry it’s mainly Kardashians) tomorrow.  Until then, remember…nuclear power only supports their economy, try heating your homes by burning trees instead.  America out.

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