Tag Archives: Pizza Bagels

Pizza Bagels Are Delicious

“Mama mia, I’m an ethnic stereotype!”

~Chef Boyardee

http://frombagelstoburgers.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/pizza_bagel.jpg

(editor’s note:  Yup.  We’re still in the midst of a hostage situation.  Hopefully it will be out of the way by tomorrow . Until then, here is a previously scheduled AFFotd)

While AFFotD staff members have been known for their enjoyment of pizza for its unhealthy joy, but what we try to avoid mentioning is that Pizza actually originated in a foreign land with a foul and unpronounceable name (Italy), so that, despite managing to find a way to combine otherwise healthy items like cheese, bread, and tomatoes in such a way to make massive amounts of grease, it technically is not an “American” food.

But it is if you put it on a damn bagel.

Yes, America is known as a melting pot, which given the fact that the term is used as a metaphor for “people of different races, ethnicities, religious affiliations, and backgrounds” is actually pretty gross and conjures up an image of a bunch of melted together people, which some of our staff members who got nightmares from watching Raiders of the Lost Ark as children don’t particularly appreciate.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/toht%20face%20melting.jpg

“Bring us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe….AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

And being a Melting Pot…or, you know, “mix of people,” one thing we excel at is taking things we like from one culture and mixing it with something else to make it even fucking better, like the man who took rum and invented Coca-Cola to mix it with, or how we mixed a white European with a Mexican-American and made one Jessica Alba.  Which is why, in the early 20th Century, when Jewish and Italian populations in New York got together, the end result was a delicious, snackable, entirely unhealthy Pizza Bagel.

Which we are here today to salute.

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Ohhhh, yes

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