“Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Hangover, hangover, hangover!”
~Demolition Derby Announcers
America Fun Fact of the Day is nothing but predictable. We’ll talk about British people looting, and we’ll talk about brew masters pissing in glasses. But one area where we’re predictable as shit is that you know on Saturdays you’re going to get an image of the week, and Sundays you know you’re gonna get a recap of what happened on that particular day in history. You know this is going to happen. And if this too “meta” for you, well, fucking deal. Fucking. Deal.
Anyway, back to our tradition of posting hungover as shit and telling you what happened during…
Today’s American Day in American History
1776- Someone got drunker than anyone has ever gotten before this point. It was probably in Massachusetts.
1848- The Oregon territory was officially established by congress, helping pave the way for the best DOS game ever.
1912- Because, holy shit, today is pretty worthless as far as history goes, US Marines invade Nicaragua, because eh who gives a shit about Nicaragua?
1935- The United States Social Security Act passes. When asked about how this will work given the world’s population tends to double every 45 years, Congress laughed and said, “Oh we’ll let everyone who turns 65 in 2025 deal with that.”
1945- Japan officially surrenders. America didn’t respond to it too gracefully, instead going “neener neener, we bombed your cities” while doing crude impressions of people suffering from radiation poisoning.
2011- AFFotD does a surprisingly short “Today in American History” segment.