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The Most Expensive Vodkas in the World

“So you’re telling us that if we want to drink this vodka, we need to rob some banks?  Can’t we just drink some Skol instead?”

~AFFotD’s Liquor Review Board

 

Everyone can appreciate a good bottle of vodka.  By that, of course, we mean to say that if you’re spending more than $25 on your vodka, you’re probably being suckered.  Vodka’s the most neutral spirit out there, its primary reason for existing is to give us a way to turn most “non-alcoholic drinks” into “mixers.”  If you like the taste of orange juice, but don’t like the sobriety it causes you?  Vodka that fucker up.  Have yourself a 60 oz. cup of one of those Mountain Dew flavors that’s blue and only available through Taco Bell?  Boom, add some vodka and suddenly that haphazardly folded together 1 lb. bean and potato burrito is the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten.  Did you randomly find a glass filled with some unrecognizable liquid on the street corner?  Vodka would probably make it safe to drink.  Maybe?  Right?

And while most Americans find themselves unwilling to shell out for any vodka fancier than, say, Chopin, some people find themselves choose to spend excessive amounts of money on a flavorless spirit just so they can tell themselves that they’re important and relevant, no matter how many times their mistresses make fun of their distressingly small genitalia.  And for these Ferrari SUV driving individuals, we present…

The Most Expensive Vodkas in the World

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AFFotD Oscars For Deserving American Actors (Part 2)

“How have I NOT won an Oscar?”

~Harrison Ford

As we established in yesterday’s fun fact, the Oscars are not always fair.  Sometimes they can be cruel, political film awards that completely ignore some classic American performances.  That’s why we decided to do something about it, and forcibly steal other actors’ hard earned Oscars and give them to more worthy recipients.  So, here, please see our final two American Oscar Award winners.

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