~The Comic Book Guy
Comic books do a good job of representing American interests. Superman hated Kryptonite because he rebelled against the Green movement. Captain America hated…uh…communists? Probably? Because we do too? Daredevil hated sound because he’s really the lamest Superhero out there. Easily. No question.
Anyway, we just wanted to give you this lovely image for your Memorial Day Weekend, to remind you that people who draw comics know that America is pretty great.
Just…just soak that in. Everything that is said? By the American caped guy? Rings true.
Because Americans don’t liked to be ambushed.
Have a great weekend, everybody.
“Doctor, I have a question. Is it technically possible to, well, live…inside a bottle of liquor? Because if there’s a way, let me know, and I’ll just do that instead.”
Every so often, we at AFFotD imagine that you, our readers, ask aloud something along the lines of, “Hey, whichever AFFotD writer you’ve got on staff today, what is the craziest and most American idea you have ever heard of? Is it a bear-murder fueled cannon that shoots cheeseburgers? Or, like, a sex doll made out of ham? Or do you guys sometimes dream about making a hat that turns you into Robocop? Holy shit, I want all of those things I just mentioned right now.”
Well, to you, we’d say, first of all, back the fuck off, those are our ideas and our legal department is like, 90% certain that the copyright is going through any day now, so if we even hear a WHISPER about someone putting RoboCap out on the market, we will sue your ass. And secondly, uh, what a ridiculous question. Do you even understand how complicated it would be to make a hat that turned you into Robocop? Or how much time our creative department would take to come up with such an amazingly appropriate name for that as RoboCap? Yeah, that shit doesn’t just happen, so no, we never think about those awesomely crazy American ideas.
We do, however, think about BoozeTown.