“No, this is MY Jack Daniels. Don’t touch it! MINE! ALL for ME!”
~The greatest Tennessean
America has so many states, we can’t count them all right now because cards on the table we’re pretty hammered at the moment, but it’s at least twenty, and we know that because we’ve already listed the most American qualities of the first fifteen states to join the United States, and we’ve got a list of five more right here. Fasten your seat belts, readers, you can ask yourself why you’d need seat belts while sitting at your desk (or while on the toilet—hi there smart phone users!) some other time, because we’re here to continue our American states of America feature with the most American qualities of states number 16-20. For America!
“I’ll ask one more time- how much have you had to drink, Mr. Roosevelt?”
~I don’t understand the officer, question
We hope you’re sitting down as you read this. Well, mainly because it’s shocking news, but also because it’d be sort of weird if you were reading this on your computer while standing up. No one likes the guy that has one of those walking-desks. Don’t by that guy. But we digress.
What we are here to tell you is that, despite America being, well, America…there are states among us that have barbaric laws limiting how much, or when, you can purchase alcohol. While some of these we will begrudgingly accept (try as we want to fight it, it seems that the government isn’t ready to endorse our “let liquor stores operate out of schools” proposal) others are downright archaic, making us wonder out loud if these state governments are run by the town from Footloose. Because where there is no booze, as we all know, there is no dancing.
“But AFFotD, that’s terrible! Just hearing about the regulation of alcohol gets me so mad I want to chug a bottle of tequila until I pass out and wake up wondering if the blood on my hands came from an animal or a person,” you no doubt just gargled at your computer screen mid-booze-chug. We are aware, and that’s why we’re here to help, giving you a comprehensive guide to the states you should avoid, you know, if you like alcohol.
America’s Most Alcohol Restrictive States