Tag Archives: America

Filed under Strange Alcohol, Whiskey and Bourbon

Tagged as America, Boobs, G-Spirits, Point/Counterpoint, Whiskey

March 27, 2013 · 8:49 AM

AFFotD News Item of the Month: Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos Will Doom Us All, Taste Delicious

“We have to go deeper…*VROOOOM*”

~Cheese-ception

It’s been a while since we’ve taken the time to be topical and relevant for you. Sure, there have been epic articles describing every state in America, or telling you about terrifying educational rap videos from the 1990’s, but we’ve mainly been educating you on the past, as opposed to the present.

That’s not always been the case. We’ve had moments in the past when something was so important we just had to tell you about it, even if the article was so rushed it’s not even worth clicking here to read it (seriously, we missed some opportunities by not having an “Osama is dead” article in the can before that shit went down).

While the days of a monthly news post are gone, that doesn’t mean we can’t occasionally bring relevant discussions of current American issues to the forefront. As you’ve no doubt noticed with Facebook profiles lately, there are potentially monumental changes for the country on the horizon. We would be foolish if we didn’t address them in a calm, straightforward manner, since it is something that will touch the lives of millions upon millions of Americans, and it would be irresponsible to pretend it’s not happening right this moment.

That’s right. Doritos is making a Doritos Locos Tacos flavored Dorito. Yes. Inception finally has an official junk food snack.

AFFotD News Item of the Month: Doritos Locos Tacos Doritos Will Doom Us All, Taste Delicious

Filed under Strange Foods

Tagged as America, Cheese, Doritos, Doritos Tacos Locos, Inception, Nacho Cheese, Taco Bell, Tacos Locos, Weird Food

March 21, 2013 · 9:07 AM

The Largest Bottles Of Alcohol In The World

“But, I can still drink it all at once, right?”

~Giant booze bottle owners

In America, we have two phrases we’re quite fond of. “Bigger is better” and, “I’m so wasted right now.” So it’s only natural that we should combine those two forces with alcohol containers that are so large they require a team of engineers to figure out an effective way to actually drink out of it. While we’ve all had our lonely nights huddled in the dark corners of our studio apartments suckling on a handle of Jim Beam, only the truly great among us have thought, “What if I could sell three liters of booze at a time? How about a full gallon? What about a million boozes!?”

Those people are mere rank amateurs compared to the following alcohol distributors. Sit back and enjoy as we show you…

The Largest Bottles Of Alcohol In The World

Filed under America's Largest Everything, Mixing Drinks

Tagged as Alcohol, America, Beer, Booze, Champagne, Chopin, Giant Booze Bottles, Guinness, Scotch, Ukraine, vodka, Whiskey, Wine, World's Largest

March 12, 2013 · 9:03 AM

[REDACTED] Reviews The Recycle Rap

“Oh this is awful. Let’s put [REDACTED] on it, I guess.”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt

We don’t necessarily go out of our way to hawk other people’s websites, but every once in a while we have to give a site its credit when they post a video that’s so great we’ll want to discuss it, or so horrible we’ll force our undercover investigator, [REDACTED], to review it. In this case, the blog Everything Is Terrible was more than willing to supply us with, well, one of those terrible ones. Specifically, an awkward, probably 90’s, video of awkward children rap about recycling. You can take a moment to watch it if you like, but we can save you the pain by inflicting it on our poor, abused investigative journalist.

Ha ha, we love to make you suffer, [REDACTED]!

[REDACTED] Reviews The Recycle Rap

1 Comment

Filed under America's Greatest Fun Facts, [REDACTED]

Tagged as America, Bad Rapping, Everything is Terrible, Power Rangers, Recycling, Redacted

March 6, 2013 · 8:30 AM

The History of American Indoor Football (AIF)

“Yeah, I play professional football. No, not for the NFL. No, not for the Arena Football League. Yeah, no, you’re not going to guess it.”

~AIFL Starting Quarterback

America loves football as much as they love concussions. And they must love concussions, because they really love football. Long the nation’s most popular sport, it is responsible for the majority of the nation’s millionaires who weigh in over 300 pounds. However, when we think of football, we think of two types of players: The really good ones who get paid ridiculous amounts of money in exchange for taking years off their life like some sort of warped bizarro-Dorian-Gray (NFL) or the occasionally-great-but-normally-okay ones who put their body at risk for free but get in trouble if they accept a free tattoo (NCAA). Now, some of you might say, “Hey, there’s also the Arena Football League! You know, with guys not quite good enough to play in the NFL?” and to you we’d say, wow, someone’s been watching ESPN2 at 3 in the afternoon on a slow sports day. But you are right, the Arena Football League does have a small hold in America, and since they’re based in major cities, they manage to stay relevant enough that upon hearing the words “I’m the quarterback of the Chicago Rush” you’d typically respond, “Oh, right, I think I’ve heard of them.”

But if there’s one thing we’ve learned from the insufferably poor quality of NFL Thursday night games, it’s that America views football a lot like they view sex. When it’s good, it’s really good. And when it’s bad? It’s still pretty good. So even though not everyone who played as a backup quarterback for Oregon is going to make the big show, they can at least find a way to get paid sometimes literally thousands of dollars to play a season of professional football in some strange, haphazardly put together professional football league.

A league like the AIF. American Indoor Football.

This is their story.

THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN INDOOR FOOTBALL (Previously Atlantic Indoor Football League/American Indoor Football League/American Indoor Football Association)

1 Comment

Filed under Strange America

Tagged as America, American Indoor Football, Football, Indoor Football League

February 27, 2013 · 8:59 AM

The Informative American’s Guide To Physical Fitness and Exercise (originally published October, 1953)

“Oh God, you guys, what the hell was wrong with us back then?”

~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt, reading AFFotD’s 1950’s predecessor

It’s been a while since our staffers have taken the terrifying plunge into the 1950’s bi-weekly publication that preceded America Fun Fact of the Day, The Informative American. We’ve been trying to forget how misogynistic, racist, and homophobic-but-in-a-way-that-we’re-pretty-sure-they-were-projecting-their-own-homosexual-urges-in-a-really-uncomfortable-way our writers were back then, but the reason why we have a history is so we can learn from it.

So we decided we’d try to avoid topics like “women in the workplace” or “Mexicans” and republish one of our 1950’s articles about something fairly mundane, which is why the following article about physical fitness caught our eye. After all, no matter how warped our 1950’s predecessors were, there’s really not much they could do to make working out offensive, right?

…Right?

Oh God, what have we done?

The Informative American’s Guide To Physical Fitness and Exercise (originally published October, 1953)

Filed under The Informative American (1950's Archives)

Tagged as 1950s, America, Exercise, health, steak dinners, The Informative American

February 21, 2013 · 9:08 AM

The American States Of America: The Most American Qualities Of Every State (Part 10 of 10)

“Don’t say it’s the musical. I swear to God, you’d better not say it’s the musical.”

~Oklahoma residents

PART TEN

It’s been a long, magical, pissing-off-a-lot-of-people-from-the-more-prideful-states ride, but here we are, in part 10 of our American States of America series, where we go through each and every state in this wonderful nation and tell you what we like most about them. And after this last segment, from Delaware to Hawaii, every state will have been represented (unless Puerto Rico finally sneaks into the Union, but we don’t know if that’s the best idea, simply because we’ve yet to find a true American who didn’t get nervous trying to count to a number higher than 50).

So it’s with a heavy liver heart that we end this segment. But don’t you worry, we’ll always be there for America, telling you all the best way to get drunk, or how you can make your cholesterol so high that anyone who takes your blood has to be diagnosed with heart disease. But until then, we have some final states to introduce.

Tagged as Alaska, America, America States Of America, American States of America, Arizona, Grand Canyon, Hawaii, London Bridge, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Will Rodgers

February 19, 2013 · 8:30 AM

The American States Of America: The Most American Qualities Of Every State (Part 9 of 10)

“Go ahead, AFFotD. Try to sound informed when you talk about us.”

~A weirdly smug Montana resident

PART NINE

It’s been a long, weird, occasionally rage inducing ride, but we’re nearing the end of our American States of America series where we tell you, the residents of individual states in America, what the most American quality of your home state is, no matter how much you disagree. Shut up Kansas, we don’t care what you have to say we’re sticking with Superman as your most American trait. Deal. When it comes to America, our word is gospel.

Except for Montana. We don’t have a goddamn clue what to say about Montana. But we made a promise, and that’s a promise we can keep. May Teddy Roosevelt’s ghost have mercy on our souls.

Tagged as America, America States Of America, American States of America, Bonneville Salt Flats, hops, Idaho, Little America, Montana, Utah, Washington, Wyoming

February 14, 2013 · 8:30 AM

The American States Of America: The Most American Qualities Of Every State (Part 8 of 10)

“We have hookers, gambling, and no actual open container laws. Oh sorry, is that the sound of you booking a ticket?”

~Residents of Las Vegas

PART EIGHT

When one of our readers asked us to list every state in America and tell him the most American part about each one, he expected an email with a list of fifty sentences like “Illinois gets you fat” and “New Yorkers don’t like us anymore because of how much we made fun of them in this article series.” What he didn’t expect was 10,000 words spread out over seven articles with the promise of writing three more no matter how many emails we get saying things like, “Pleeease, just stop, we don’t care what you think, go back to writing about expensive vodka or something” and, “I don’t appreciate all these Texas jokes, you’re dead motherfucker.”

Well, we have ten more states, which means we have ten more chances to make a bad impression. So let’s start with…

Tagged as America, America States Of America, American States of America, Colorado, Las Vegas, Mark Larson, Mount Rushmore, Nebraska, Nevada, North Dakota, South Dakota, Warren Buffett

February 12, 2013 · 8:00 AM

The American States Of America: The Most American Qualities Of Every State (Part 7 of 10)

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to actually read this. We honestly don’t care.”

~Current residents of California

PART SEVEN

At this point, there’s not much more we can do to prepare you for this segment. If you’ve been reading from the beginning of the series, you know that we’re going through every state to list their most American quality. If you don’t know we’re doing that, hi there, sort of weird that you found this page after googling “Blake Lively Bestiality Sex Video” and you might want to talk to a professional about that particular fetish, but otherwise you can go back to the beginning of this series by clicking here. Or you can just keep reading as we list the 31^st through the 35^th state to join this fine Union. Starting with…