Tag Archives: AFFotD News of the Month

AFFotD’s News Item of the Month: What the Fuck, Japan?

“Goddamn it Japan, you’re DOING IT WRONG!”

~America Fun Fact of the Day


Every once in a while, the man who we hired to read news stories out loud to us (because…reading?  Eww) comes across something shocking, disturbing, and downright terrifying.  We don’t know what these stories are going to be, but we have expectations for worst case scenarios.  For example, there could be a report about state banning liquor.  Maybe an article about people turning poop into beef.  Or, God forbid, a story about parasites live in potato chips and cause your face to melt.

Of course, we never run into anything like…wait.  What?

…No…

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh God no, no nooooooooo.

Don’t make us do it… Don’t make us make this…

AFFotD’s News Item of the Month

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Goose Island Brewmaster Urinates Publically (AFFotD News Item of the Month)

“I don’t care if we’ve never done a News Item of the Month, this guy pissed in a goddamn pint glass, we’re writing about it.”

~Johnny Roosevelt, AFFotD Editor-in-Chief

Much like how the Eskimos treat their elders, we don’t care much for newspapers.  Honestly, if we wanted to see dinosaurs, we’d go to a museum.  If we wanted to see a dead body, we’d go to the nearby creek with a stick.  But it’s not free admissions day at the museum, and it’s not a Friday by the creek, so why on Earth would we want to read a newspaper?

We’re telling you our stance on newspapers because while we were using some newspapers as kindling today, and we ran across a story that caught our attention for several reasons.  One is that it involved public urination, as well as alcohol.  But mainly, it brought to mind an AFFotD we posted just last week.

So we had to tell you, readers of the internet, about it.  Since, as we said before, newspapers are dying faster than the black characters in early 90′s horror films.

But apparently, Greg Hall, former brewmaster of the recently-purchased-by-Budweiser Goose Island got in hot water for filling up some pint glasses with his own urine at a bar the other day.

AFFotD was there.  And here is the recap.

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Filed under America's Greatest Fun Facts, Drunk People