“Huh. Wonder how those OWS folks will treat today…”
So today is Guy Fawkes day. Did you know that shit happened 400 years ago? Leave it to one long haired crazy British dude to make stuff cool when it was supposed to be irrelevant. But yeah, you’d expect, a lot of revolution shit to go down at this point. We guess it sort of did. Sort of. What we’re saying is we wouldn’t be surprised if shit goes down today.
(no actually it’s kind of freaky how many revolts have happened during…)
Anyway, we’re switching our “today in history” (Sunday) with our image of the week (Saturday) because of what is going on today. So we present…
Today’s Date in American History (Revolution Edition)
“Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky and scary, boys becoming men, men becoming WOLVES.”
We’re just one day away from Halloween, which means that we’re recovering from the Friday/Saturday double team that is the weekend nearest to Halloween.
Which we guess we can use as our excuse to put less effort into our…
Today’s Date in American History (America Version)
“You realize we’re watching the game, right? Leave us alone.”
You know, we haven’t mentioned part of the contributing factor to why we half-ass our Sunday entries with a rundown of things that happened before on this particular day in history. That factor, of course, is football, which combines our love of gambling with our love of watching millionaires bash each other so hard they take years off their life expectancy.
Ahh, it’s a beautiful thing. Now sit tight for…
Today’s Date in American History (America Version)
“Sunday- it’s the Lord’s day…to have us tell you what happened on this day in history.”
~Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt
In the words of Outkast- Hey, Ya. You know the general deal. It’s Sunday. So we’re here to tell you what’s happened on this day in history.
So let’s just cut right to it.
“Huh…not a lot of shit went down on October 9th. Huh.”
~AFFotD Editor-in-Chief, Johnny Roosevelt
Some days in history are kind of boring. But AFFotD on Sundays is always lazy. So even on a day like, say, hypothetically, October 9th or something, when there’s very little that happened, we’re still going to present…
Today’s Date in American History (American Version)
“Insert quote for Sunday.”
~Automated America Bot
Yeah, yeah, it’s fall. It’s sort of bullshit. It’s getting darker earlier, and colder too. Shut up, California and Florida. Ugh. Anyway, it’s Sunday, which means its the part of the week where we here at AFFotD tell you what has happened on this day in the past. Woot.
“It’s Sunday, Sunday, heroin between your toes.”
Sundays are the day of rest, where we sit back, start day drinking at nine in the morning, and sometimes drive places. And while our staff members are considering how to tell their wives about the public intoxication ticket they were served the previous night, we here at AFFotD are once again here to present you with…
Today’s Date in American History (American Edition)
The weekend. It’s a time to fight off “sleep” with “alcohol” so you can “make questionable decisions” at the “expense of your long term health.” It also tends to “involve” using “excessive” “quotation marks around phrases.”
So it’s of course time for us to shake off the terrible, terrible hangovers afflict us on a day-to-day basis and present you…
Today’s Date in American History
“Who else is ready for Memorial Day weekend? Alright, just do one of those lazy ‘This Day in American History’ things.”
~AFFotD’s Editor-in-Chief Johnny Roosevelt
As we prepare for our hyper-American Memorial Day barbeque, where we basically replace charcoal with Bacardi 151 while swapping out hamburgers and hog dogs with…well, just larger version of hot dogs and hamburgers because you can’t get much more American than grilled hamburger and hot dogs, we like to take quiet reflection on this day that has, in the past, been a Memorial Day in its own right (maybe).
Anyway, we are just going to ramble off some things that happened today, okay?
Today’s American day in American history
“What’s that? 100th day of the year? Sure you can use that as a reason to drink today. You know what else you can use as a reason? THIS IS AMERICA DAMMIT!”
~Johnny Roosevelt, Editor-in-Chief of AFFotD
Today is April 10th, which sources tell us, is the 100th day of the year. So, if your 2011 has been great, or terrible, either way that’s a cause to drink. And as as result, we’re going to do something very special at the America Fun Fact of the Day offices here today. We are going to let a separate AFFotD staffer inform you of what happened on previous April 10ths in America. Except most of them will be in various states of drunk. Don’t worry, we’ll let you know who you’re hearing from, and how much they’ve had to drink, and hopefully they’ll have done their research well enough that they’re not just drunkenly pulling shit out of their asses.
But then again, we can’t make any promises.
So, without further ado, here is…
The American History of April 10th in America (As Remembered By Drunk Americans)